Tried to write a letter; In ink
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How can I improve my communication skills?

If you have low self esteem then often one of the consequences is an inability to communicate with others. This can be a serious problem for you in all areas of your life and especially at work where communication is so important in so many jobs. What's more, lack of communication skills will hit you in your everyday relationships with friends and social events can become a nightmare. Fortunately there are some steps that you can take to help yourself become better at communicating.

First, think about the situations which give you trouble. Decide how you want to be and maybe watch someone you admire who is socially successful. If you watch carefully you may notice how they smile and listen to others a lot. To become a good conversationalist the number one rule is to listen. You don't have to talk too much. When you are nervous chances are that you talk and talk and the other person switches off. When they show loss of interest you start to think you're boring or hopeless at this sort of thing.


Your fear of failure in social situations may make you avoid parties or other gatherings but you must go to social events to get better at handling them. Like everything you need practice. One reason for a lack of social skills and bad communication is lack of self confidence. Something as small as smiling can make you feel more confident.


Shyness may be stopping you from being the social person you want to be and so improving your communication skills may also involve working on this. As I see it shyness is not a problem if you learn to deal with it and you can overcome it. I know this from personal experience. It is not easy but as all things you cannot run away and hide you have to face the problem and beat it.



Assertiveness is another factor in your success as an effective communicator. Can you say no when you want to? Would you like to be more assertive and be able to say what you are thinking and feeling without feeling guilty? There are a number of things which can help with assertiveness but a higher level of self esteem and confidence promotes more assertive behaviour. These are all connected.




In the end, I think that the number one problem which stops you from communicating effectively is fear. You need to conquer this fear step by step. The most effective communicators are confident, relaxed (or at least appear to be even if they are nervous) and are able to be themselves in the presence of strangers. They allow their personality to shine through. When you are nervous the opposite is true - you are not relaxed, not confident and you cannot be yourself. Two final things I want to suggest are firstly the importance of being relaxed and confident so that you can be yourself socially and secondly the use of self hypnosis to change how you think and act in certain situations.

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designer DancingSheep

Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts; We're Empty